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Here's one... Guy tells the waitress, "I'll have a cup of coffee, no cream, no sugar." She says, " you'll have to have it without milk. We're out of cream.' Guy calls the hospital and says, "I have an emergency, my wife just went into labor!" Nurse says, "Is this her first child?" He says, "No this is her husband." Lady calls the Fire Department and says, "Come quick, my house is on fire." Fireman says, "How do we get there?' She says "What happened to that big red truck you used to have?"
Shrink tells his patient, "You have a split personality. That will be 60 bucks." The guy gives him 30 bucks and says, "Get the rest from the other guy."
Doctor tells his patient, "You have an ulcer." The guy says, "I want a second opinion." Doctor says, "O.K. you're ugly too." Think that's funny, I got a million of 'em
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